My Story

---

2006 to 2007
aged: 1
From: Northants


My Beautiful Son Kade.
I Love You More And More Each Day.
Miss You Like Mad.

it was a week after my 17th birthday when i found out i was pregnant with you, i was 4months gone.at first i cried so much didnt know what to do, didnt know how to tell my mum, i told a few close friends and they were really happy for me, eventually my mum guessed i was pregnant, she didnt take it to good but then got used to it. we went shopping for baby clothes and a pram and cot. i loved it. then the due date came closer and closer i started to get real scared about the birth, but most of all i didnt want to hurt my baby in any way. i used to love sitting in the evening talking to my bump, wondering what you would look like. i didnt want to know the sex of my baby so i kept it a surprise. on the 19th March 2006 i gave birth to my beautiful baby boy,weighing 6lb 2, i had my mum and best friend with me. it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be! it was strange finally having you with me,after 9 long months. we bonded straight away, u depended on me.i loved u with all my heart.

being a mum was hard bit of a struggle at times.but i loved every minute of it - my life completly changed when i had u. even tho me and ur daddy had split up he still was there for u alot of the time. i know people judge young mums but i dont care wat people say - Kade wasnt planned but i dont regret having him at all. i took to motherhood really well - i was worried i wouldnt and i wouldnt have no time to myself. but i didnt want to go out with my friends i prefered stayin in and being with my son, looking after him - being a mother ! i did everything i ever could for Kade. i loveeed him from the moment i had my first scan.


20th june 2007 - the worse day of my life
i woke up at 7am as i couldnt sleep, you had not woken yet so i went downstairs and got a drink and some breakfast, i came back upstairs and looked at you peacefully sleeping, i then got dressed. you still hadnt woken so i came over to your cot. i looked at your chest and didnt see it moving. so i picked you up i started to panic - i started screaming uncontrolably, my mum and sister rushed in. thats all i can remember - it jus went so fast after that. when we arrived at the hospital i thought it was all a dream. but it wasnt. the doctors confirmed that my son had passed away. after 2weeks i finally had to lay my son to rest. he sadly died of cot death. Kade your funeral was the hardest thing ive ever had to do. i didnt cry though - i had no more tires to cry - 100 people came and seeing my dad and brother carrying you tiny blue coffin killed me.

Kade the day i lost you i lost myself and ill never ever forgive myself for not waking u up that morning !

i miss you kade - i wish i still had you baby

love your mummy <3

xxxxxx
xxxxxxx
xxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxx


Top of My Story